THE TALENT SHOW

11am

I am on holiday in Majorca. Mum and Dad are going to the beach on their own today, and they are leaving Jenny, Josh and me at Squids Club.

Squids Club is a big shed by the swimming pool, where all the kids who are on holiday get left by their parents. I don’t like it, because it is basically the same as wet break at school. You get some weird broken toys out, and the Holiday Reps make you sing songs about finding a peanut or losing a meatball, that last the whole morning.

12pm

The rep, Rachel, lets us go in the pool, because a drunk person was sick in the club shed last night, and Nico, the pool man, is cleaning it up.

Jenny and me are playing a game called: ‘Who Can Look The Most Dead?’ We hold our breath and float face down in the pool. Jenny gets out of the pool and comes back in with her t-shirt on. She says that this will make it look like she fell in and drowned on her way to get an ice-cream. Jenny wins, because Rachel runs over to see if she’s ok, and we get told off for giving her a scare.

1pm

We’re allowed back in the club shed, which stinks of bleach and sick. Rachel tells us that there is going to be a talent show this afternoon, and Nico is going to be the judge.

We are put into groups, Me, Jenny and Josh are with two boys from a place called Liverpool. Jenny thinks we should do a magic show, but I want to do a play about the Tudors. I tell Jenny that everyone will do magic shows and we should do something different.

2pm

We decide to act out a Tudor beheading and have started rehearsing outside. Jenny is worried, because everyone else in the Club Shed is singing Spice Girls songs, or dancing.

I’m Anne Boleyn, the Liverpool boys are the guards and Jenny is the executioner. Josh doesn’t understand acting, so he is going to squirt everyone with a Super-Soaker, when I fake my head being chopped off.

3pm

Rachel comes over to watch our rehearsal. Afterwards, she asks if we’re sure we don’t want to sing a song, and tells us she has ‘Saturday Night’ on tape, which she could teach us the dance to. 

4pm

Mum and Dad are back from the beach and are sat in the audience, outside the Club Shed. It is the hottest day of the holiday, and Mum is using a battery powered mini fan I bought from the beach shop.

After two lots of Wannabe and a magic show, it’s our turn. I give my best performance ever. I’m really loud, and when I put my head in my t-shirt, I walk around like a zombie for a bit then collapse, which I didn’t do in rehearsal, but it worked.

When we finish everyone is quiet for a while, then Nico cheers and some people start clapping.

5pm

We only get third place, but I'm happy because Nico said I should win an Oscar, and Mum says she’s completely speechless. 

Dad buys us a big ice cream with sparklers to celebrate.