SUMMER HOLIDAYS

9am:

I'm dropped off at Nanny Pam's house. The TV is on, and she is watching the Sunset Beach omnibus, Nanny Pam is the only person I know who watches Channel Five. I ask her if I can have a chicken and mushroom Potnoodle, I make it, then sit down next to her to watch TV. I wonder why Annie slapped Marie for sleeping with Ben. I ask if I can drink the last bit of Potnoodle. Nanny Pam says she doesn't mind, as it would save on washing up a spoon.

11am:
Nanny Pam asks if I would like to go for a drive.
I ask if we could go past the house that had the fire on the estate. We drive past houses with sofas, fridges and washing machines on the front lawns. Nanny Pam tells me how lucky I am that I don't have a fridge on my front lawn.

11.30am:
We stand outside the burnt out house, and make guesses at what caused the fire. Nanny Pam says the daughter was on drugs and that maybe she left the hair dryer on because she was on drugs, or maybe she put a hot tea bag in the bin. I think about this for a while. I say maybe it was a chip pan fire, or the dad fell asleep with a fag in his hand like Granda does sometimes.

12.00pm:
We sit in the Central Six Outlet car park and have a jacket potato from Mr.Spuds. Dad said Mr.Spud once had a screw driver put through his head in a nightclub, I look for the mark when he bends over to take the beans out of the microwave.

12.30pm:
Nanny Pam asks if I'd like to look around a Barrats show home this afernoon, Nanny Pam isn't moving house but she does like to look around a lot of other people's

12.45pm:
We look around the show home and the man says, 'Nice to see you again Pamela'. Nanny Pam tells me she wouldn't have chosen that worktop, and that her friend Sheila's new build always has blocked toilets.

2.00pm:
We get back to the house and I play with my aunty's old dolls. I make Barbie slap Cindy for sleeping with Ken. I notice Sue, the lady who lives opposite Nanny Pam, is looking at me through her living room window. I wave at her, but
she pretends she is dusting. Nanny Pam says that Sue is her best friend but that she is a nosey cow, and she is probably trying to look at her new three piece suite.

4.00pm:
Nanny Pam says I can have whatever I want for dinner, from the big freezer in the garage, I choose a Findus crispy pancake with some garlic bread. When I finish Nanny Pam gives me a big slice of Mint Vienetta, I think how lucky I am to be having such a lovely dinner.

5.00pm
Nanny Pam's husband Colin comes in from work. He gives Nanny Pam a box of Ferrero Roche, I think that he must really love Nanny Pam, he says I can have one and I save the wrapper for proof when I see my sister later.