7.30am
I wake up, open my eyes, remember it’s
sports day, and shut them again. Sports day is the worst day of the year and
I’m not even allowed to skive because Mum got a letter home last week about me having
too much time off school.
I sit up in bed, look at my Hi-Tec trainers
in the corner of the room and think fuck this! I’ve been swearing quite a bit
in my head lately, I think it’s because I’ve been hanging around with Tasha more.
The other day I accidently swore out loud in front of Mum and she made me say
sorry to God.
Eventually I get out of bed and put my kit
on. My cousin Leanne's old puma shorts, the fake England shirt Grandad gave me and my rubbish trainers.
When I get downstairs Jenny and Josh are
already having breakfast. All they’ve left me from the selection box is
Cornflakes! They’re having a mega mix of honey Nut Loops and Coco Pops. I tell
them that I need the extra energy today, and try to shove my spoon in their bowls,
but Jenny puts her hand over hers, and Josh spits in his.
In the kitchen, Mum lets me smash a Kit Kat
up in my Cornflakes to make them taste a bit better. While I eat them, she strokes my
hair and says, ‘Nanny Pam will be there cheering you on today Hol! You can only
do your best. Just remember it’s not in your genetics to be good at sport. I couldn’t even do a forward roll until I was
twenty-five, and that was by accident one night in The Pink Parrot!’
8.15am
I walk round to Amy’s before school. Amy
hates Sports Day just as much as I do, but at least we have a plan this year. We both got picked to do the 200m race and so neither of us come last on our own, we’re going to run at the same time as
each other, crossing the finish line last, together.
When I get to Amy’s, Aunty Karen answers
the door.
‘Hi Love. Look at you all ready for sports
day. Poor Amy can’t come because she’s got a nasty tummy bug!’
I can feel myself getting really hot and angry, but
say to Aunty Karen dead nicely, ‘Really she was absolutely fine at school
yesterday can I go up and see her?’
‘Yeah go on then, you might cheer her up a
bit, poor thing’
I
open Amy’s door really quietly and watch her for a bit, she’s sat up in bed
watching The Big breakfast and eating Frosted Shreddies. When she notices
me she starts coughing and says in a croaky voice ‘Hi Hol’.
‘Thought you had a tummy bug not a cough.’
‘I’ve got both!’
I think about which way to do this and
decide to start by begging and if that doesn’t work use force.
‘Amy please come, I need you, please,
please, please! I’m going to come last and look like a right loser in front of Tom, please…’
‘I would Hol, I actually really wanted to
come, but I’m really ill!’
‘Yeah right, chinny chin chin!’
I go up to Amy’s bed and pull the duvet off
her.
‘You have to come, we promised! Get up!’
‘Muuuuuuuuummm!’
I let go of the duvet and Amy grabs it
back. Then I say something really lame that I heard on Saved By The Bell.
‘This Friendship is void!’
I kick the door open and monster stomp down
the stairs. Aunty Karen asks me if I’m ok as I walk out of the front door, I
tell her Amy’s nearly finished her Shreddies and seems to be A LOT better!
9.00am
When I get to school, Sammy and some other
girls from my class are stood in the playground doing stretches to show off in
front of Tom and the boys. Sammy’s got new Nike Air Max’s and Addidas Poppers
on.
10.00am
Nanny Pam and Maeve have come to watch me and I'm allowed to sit with them on the field until I'm called up. Maeve starts telling one of her
daft stories about how she used to run for the County until her boobs got too
big and she couldn’t afford to keep buying gaffa tape.
It’s the boys 100m race first, Sammy
screams her head off for Tom to win. I pretend not to watch and try to
concentrate on Maeve talking about her boobs instead.
‘Of
course, my Graham loves it, he buries his head in them for hours some nights.
But when I saw that Sally Gunnel opening the new Tesco the other day, I thought it could have been me cutting that ribbon...’
I look over at the start line. Mr. Haywood
says ‘On your marks, get set, go!’ Kevin and Tom get out in front straight
away. I turn back to Maeve.
‘I can just about squeeze into a H cup now, but
it’s a two man job…’
I look back over at the race. Kevin’s in
the lead with Mark second, I look for Tom but he’s way back at the start line, lying on the grass with his head in his hands and his Mum’s stood next to him. Sammy’s started screaming for Kevin to win.
Mr. Haywood announces Kevin as the winner
then tells us all to check our shoelaces
are tied properly because he doesn’t want any more accidents like Tom’s!
I feel really sorry for Tom, but when I
bend down to check my shoelaces I think it doesn’t matter if I come last now
because Tom did too!
11.00am
From the start line, I watch Maeve being
told to put her fag out by Mrs. Woods, Tom arguing with his Mum about his laces
and Nanny Pam giving me a big fat double thumbs up!
Mr. Haywood says, ‘On your marks, get set,
go’ and I go for it.
I come second from last, but Nanny Pam and
Maeve run up to me screaming like I’ve won gold at the Olympics! Nanny Pam gives me a big fat hug and I look over her shoulder at Tom who is still sulking next to his Mum. I think that I fancy him a little bit less today.
On my way back from school, I call in at
Amy’s.
I open Amy’s bedroom door really quietly,
she’s sat on her bed watching Round The Twist and is eating Golden Drummers
with chips and beans.
I say, ‘Hi’
‘Hi’
‘Are you my friend?’
‘Yeah!’
Then she lets me sit on her bed and have a
Golden drummer dipped in bean juice, while I tell her all about how I totally smashed
sports day.
