4pm
I’ve got an hour to find a fancy dress
outfit in Nanny Pam’s wardrobe!
Sammy from my class is having a fancy dress
party tonight in the church hall. At break time today she asked if I wanted to
go because Rachael’s got diarrhea and can’t go anymore and her mum said she had
to ask someone else.
I only said yes because Tom’s going to be
there and Amy’s going too. Amy got invited ages ago because her mum works with
Sammy’s mum at the doctors surgery. She didn’t want to go but her mum’s made
her and even bought her a proper Baby Spice outfit for it.
I go for tea round Nanny Pam’s on Thursday nights
because mum’s at college. Usually we just sit around eating choc ices and watch
all the soaps but I won’t even get to watch Neighbours tonight, because I
need to sort my costume out!
Maeve’s round Nanny Pam’s. Usually I like
seeing Maeve, she tells funny stories. Once she said she saw Chris Akabusi in
Marks and Spencer’s buying his underpants, and another time she said she won a
conservatory in The Daily Mail, but they wouldn’t give it to her because she
lives in a top floor flat. I don’t have time to listen to her tonight though
and luckily she’s too busy reading a story called ‘I HAD SEX WITH A GHOST!’ in
one of Nanny Pam’s Take A Break magazines.
I start panicking about the party and my
costume to Nanny Pam, while she takes some fish fingers out from under the
grill. She says ‘Look love, if you could go as anyone who would it be?’
I think for a bit. I’d like to go as Jet
from Gladiators but I’m not wearing Nanny Pam’s swimming costume and I think
that all the other girls will be going as Spice Girls, so I probably should as
well.
‘A Spice Girl’
4.30pm
I eat my fish finger sandwich faster than
ever, and go upstairs with Nanny Pam to find an outfit.
Nanny Pam says, ‘Right well, my joggers are
in the wash after bums and tums so I can’t do you a sporty spice, I sold my
blonde wig at a boot sale last week so that rules out Baby, I don’t like that miserable
Posh one, and I’m not getting a bollocking for dressing you up as that slapper
Ginger. What about Scary Spice? I’ve got a leopard print blouse in here
somewhere...’
4.40pm
Nanny Pam finds me some black leggings and
I put them on with her silky leopard print blouse. All of Nanny Pam’s shoes are
too small for me so I put my school shoes back on.
Nanny Pam starts crimping my hair and Maeve
comes upstairs to help with my make-up, I look up at the orange lipstick on
Maeve’s teeth and the sparkly blue circles around her eyes and start worrying
again.
When they’re both finished I stand up on
Nanny Pam’s bed and look in the big mirror on her dressing table. I look like
Nanny Pam Spice.
5.30pm
I’m late for the party because we had to
drop Maeve off on the way. When Nanny Pam say’s goodbye to someone it usually
means it will be another hour before they actually leave, especially if
it’s Maeve! Just as she was getting out the car she started telling Nanny Pam a
massive story about the time her friend found a dead mouse in a Crunchie, and
that she always chops them up before she eats them now.
I walk into the church hall and through all
the Spice Girls I can see Tom in the Corner with Matt, apart from Sammy’s dad (who’s
dressed in a really tight Elvis costume) they’re the only boys at the party. Tom’s
dressed as Liam Gallagher. He’s drawn sideburns on his face with black felt-tip
and has a long green parka on. My tummy flips and I go to find Amy.
Amy’s sat down on her own by the buffet
putting Hula Hoops on her fingers. I grab a handful of skips and sit down next
to her. We watch all the other Spice Girls for a bit. Sammy’s dressed as Posh
and Lisa’s dressed as Ginger. They keep running up to the boys and saying stuff
then running back to the rest of the girls to giggle.
5.40pm
Sammy comes over to me and Amy, and we
shuffle up to let her sit down. The other girls are acting really daft across
the room, whispering and giggling. Sammy says to me ‘Tom wants to know if
you’ll go out with him.’
I feel really shaky and hot. I look at Amy,
she smiles and bites a Hula Hoop off her finger.
Sammy stands up and pulls me up with her then pushes me towards Tom.
5.45pm
I wipe my Skip fingers on Nanny Pam’s
leggings and smooth my hair, which has gone really frizzy from all the
crimping.
I walk up to Tom and say hi, he nods at me
and then carries on talking to Matt. I stand next to him and Matt for a bit
without saying anything. I look across the room. Amy’s still sat on her own
watching me and looking nervous, Sammy’s dad’s at the buffet pulling his Elvis
trousers out of his bum crack and eating sausage rolls, and all the other Spice
Girls are laughing their heads off in the corner near the door.
Tom shouts to the girls, ‘What are youse
lot laughing at?’
Sammy shouts back, ‘Holly thinks you’re
going out with her!’
Tom looks at me and I look at my school
shoes. Then he say’s ‘Eugh, yeah right’.
5.50pm
I run out of the hall crying my head off
with Baby Amy Spice following me.
Outside I cry so much I sound like my
brother when he was a baby. Amy asks if we should go back in the hall and ring
her mum to pick us up early. I tell her that there’s no way we’re going back in
there, and that we’ll just have to wait in the car park until her mum comes at
seven.
6pm
I finally stop crying a bit, and me and Amy
decide to walk to Londis down the road and come back at seven so we don’t have
to see anyone or hear the stupid music coming from the hall.
6.10pm
Tasha the goth is smoking outside Londis
with all her gothy mates. I tell Amy that we’re going to have to go back to the
car park because the last thing I need is Tasha taking the piss as well.
We turn around and start walking back to
the Church Hall, but it’s too late. Tasha
shouts, ‘HOLLLLLLLLEEEEEEE’.
Tasha’s drunk, she runs up to me, gives me
a big fat hug and tells me that she loves me. Her coat smells like a hamster’s
wee corner and fags. When she eventually lets go she looks at me and asks,
‘Have you been crying? Why are you dressed like a twat?’
Baby Amy Spice tells Tasha everything and I
start crying again.
6.20pm
We hang out with Tasha and her mates for a
bit, they drink cider and smoke loads of fags, and me and Amy share a Bounty.
6.45pm
Tasha and her mates walk us back to the car
park. Everyone from the party is stood outside waiting for their parents to pick
them up. Sammy’s with them saying goodbye, when she sees me she starts laughing
again with the other girls.
Tasha looks over at them and shouts ‘Shut
the fuck up you tragic little slags!!’ All of Tasha’s mates start shouting too,
one even say’s the C word! All the Spice
girls stop laughing, and Sammy starts crying. Sammy’s dad comes out and tells
the Goths to piss off but they just start laughing and Tasha say’s something
about seeing Elvis’s ball sack.
6.50pm
Amy’s Mum pulls up and we jump in the car.
Through the back window I watch the Goths shouting at Elvis and the Spice Girls.
Then I notice Liam Gallagher looking straight at me and I stick my middle
finger up at him.
